Alcohol Rehab Queensland
Alcohol Rehab Queensland
It’s one thing to talk to our children about drugs but a lot of the trouble is that other parents are not as diligent about talking to their kids about drugs and telling them of the consequences. It’s so hard to fight this battle alone. Every parent of every child should be engaged in this war. If they were, then our own kids wouldn’t feel so “dorky” when they tell their friends that they can’t do drugs or their parents will drug test them. If their friends could say the same thing this would really help because we all know how intense, peer pressure is.
Kids do not want to be different! So if they’re the lone beacon in a sea of drug using kids, they will be ridiculed. And no kid wants to lose his friends and be ostracized by others. Just because their friends are using drugs, does not make them bad kids. Good kids do drugs too! So the key is to have all the parents let their children know that they will be drug tested. All kids need to know that their parents are fighting for their very lives and their future.
We’re not talking about adults here. We’re talking about our children and trying to help them live to actually become adults. I do not believe that children have the same rights as adults. They have to grow up and earn those rights and it’s our job to help them get there and if that means snooping through their drawers, listening in on phone conversations, drug testing, whatever it takes, then so be it.
This sounds awful on the surface. Nobody wants to be a cop to their child. But how bad will you feel if the unimaginable happens and you look back and realize that you didn’t do all that you could to prevent your child’s death?…that you were too concerned with their “rights” and not concerned enough about their life.
That said, we did all that with our son and he still died. We did everything you’re supposed to do to raise drug-free children. We taught by example. We had open dialogue about drugs. We listened to what our kids were saying. We kept on top of the drug scene and shared our information and our feelings with our kids. We let them know that using drugs would not be tolerated. BUT…you can’t keep an eye on your child 24/7, unless you’re like that wacko in England who locked his daughter and grandkids up in the basement. Believe me, my husband and I wished many times that we could chain our son to the middle of the living room floor! Living with an addicted child is frustrating beyond belief and parents are desperate to help their kids.
I know my husband and I know a lot more about drugs today than when we were raising our 2 boys. There is so much more information out there now. I’m not saying that our son’s situation would have turned out differently but I know now that we would have been even more determined, more on top of things. But, still you have to let them have a life and when they walk out your front door, you have absolutely no control over what they do.
The sleepovers are particularly dangerous. You can’t just take your child’s word that he’s spending the night with Georgie Goody Goody and trust that all will be well. Because Georgie is also telling his parents that he’s spending the night with Goody Two Shoes and if parents don’t check up and keep in contact with each other, then the kids can take off and roam the streets and do drugs. I know that. I lived through that. It’s the “oh mom please don’t embarrass me by calling Georgie’s parents. I’ll look like a nerd. Why don’t you trust me?” and on and on and on.
Well in the beginning you do trust them because they haven’t given you a reason not to…or at least not a reason of which you are aware. But this is exactly when we have to use all of our parental tools, right in the very beginning, when they start going out on their own.
Also with both parents working and needing sleep, you put your child to bed, only to have that child sneak out his bedroom window and hook up with other friends. Or, another friend will come by the child’s bedroom window and sell him drugs. Yes, we experienced all these things. If that were today, we’d put an alarm on our son’s door and window. We’d talk to the other parents. We’d do things so much differently and we would definitely talk to them about drugs starting at age 10. Back when we were raising our boys, there was no crack cocaine when they were 10. Heroin was an “inner city” problem, and didn’t even enter our mind that good kids from the right side of the tracks would soon get derailed by drugs.
We have to reach them while they’re still on the vine. And one important way to help is to network with other parents, enlist their support, and be vigilant in keeping in touch with each other. Whether or not you agree with Hillary Rodham Clinton’s premise that “It takes a village to raise a child,” it makes sense that an army of concerned parents can be much more effective than one set of hapless, frustrated parents in this battle for our children’s future and their very lives.
Sheryl Letzgus McGinnis is the author of the book “I Am Your Disease (The Many Faces of Addiction)” published by Outskirts Press. You can read about, and purchase the book at Amazon and Barnes and Noble as well as the author’s website – http://www.iamyourdisease.com Sheryl’s two latest books are Slaying the Addiction Monster – An All-Inclusive Look into Drug Addiction in America Today and The Addiction Monster and the Square Cat. Both of these books will be available online at Amazon and Barnes and Noble as well as the author’s website in October of 2008. The Addiction Monster and the Square Cat is a wonderfully educational book for kids ages 10 and up and is told by the sassy but lovable family cat. It packs a powerful punch and speaks to kids in their own language.
I am a retired medical transcriptionist and radio DJ who also did voiceovers for TV. Married, with one living son, having lost my youngest son Scott, who was a paramedic and an RN to the disease of addiction. Happily married for 42 years to Jack, retired 8th grade science teacher. My oldest son Dale is a graduate student in Environmental Sciences and has his own band, New Gravity.
We live in Palm Bay, Florida. I am originally from Brisbane, Queensland, Australia and am a citizen of both Australia and the US. We are owned by one dog and four cats!
Under the Limit: Drink Driving Education and Rehabilitation Program (Queensland)
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